Sep-2014
A story from the heart
Time. Such a strange thing. The clock moves fast, too fast. And all we can do is go with the flow of it. You cannot move back in time (…yet) or stop the clock for a day and hold on to some great feeling you might have that you don’t want to loose.
Today is a day I think a lot and perhaps a bit too much about time. It’s a special day, however I always get mixed up with the date and confuse it with 10 days earlier, since that’s the day this story started. The story of a battle that doesn’t know peace.
You’re in high school, 16 years old, a bright future lays ahead of you with lots of dreams, and you’re strong. Mind, body and soul. Everything seems to go fine and you’re about to graduate. Ready for a new period in your life. Then a shocking message enters your ears and something seems to go terribly wrong. Someone you love is in the hospital and it doesn’t look good. Time flies and before you know it a wonderful and healthy person is declared to not return back home. After 10 days (which is why I mix up the days every year) you get a phone call. It is done and there is nothing no one can do. Brain aneurysm. Such a horrible word. Especially when you hear it 3 times.
Sometimes I feel like I can still meet her, like in the kitchen or in the garden. You know, like it used to be. Then I realize that it has been so many years already and that somehow I have always been strong, but maybe not always accepting. Today I woke up with a upset feeling in my stomach and I could not quite place it. I turned my phone on and as the messages started entering I realized how quick it goes. Time.
My mom died on September 27, 2006.
About Renate Rigters
Ever since I left my home country I felt at home at any other place I went to. I enjoy getting to know more cultures by talking to strangers and hearing their philosophy about life. Speaking with gestures when you can not find a shared language, finding places only the locals go to and learn about their customs and values. Hanging out with local people makes me happy. The experience of every new place is a step out of your comfort zone where I like to wander around until it feels like a second home.
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